God's love cannot be learned. You can be taught about God's love for an entire lifetime and never really, truly know it. God's love must be experienced to be known. It must be revealed by Him and Him alone. It turns out, I have spent most of my life hearing about God's love, and even sharing about it, but not experiencing it. This doesn't mean it wasn't there, of course. God has always loved me (and you) as much when we were born as He does now, and at every point in between. You all know this because you have heard it many times. But have you ever had a revelation of God's love? A revelation of God's love comes from God, not a teacher or a pastor or yourself. It is too great to put into words. I don't think I ever realized that. I would acknowledge God's love but then remind myself not to dwell on it, therefore ignoring His "wrath" or judgment. I am telling you right now to DWELL ON IT. Soak it up, take it in, accept it, experience it. This is what He wants for you. Once God's love is revealed, you will not go away unchanged.
Ephesians 3:17-19 says, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
I am not writing as an expert about this by any means, but I pray everyday for God to reveal His great love for me even more and I have gotten a glimpse of it this past week. There have been a few things that have held me back from ever truly experiencing God's love, and God revealed one of them to me this week. For me, in order to enjoy my down time or be lazy, I feel like I have to earn it. I think there are a lot of us out there like this. If I work hard, stay busy, and be productive, I feel okay about taking a few hours to just relax and turn off my brain. But if I get to a point where I am being lazy all the time and not doing anything productive, I feel sad and I do not enjoy it anymore! There is nothing wrong with being this way, in my opinion. In fact, I'm sure it's a good quality! But this mentality slipped into how I view God's love for me. That same principle does not apply to the rest we have in God's love. We do not need to be "religiously productive", meaning in prayer often, serving others, and generally staying away from sinful things, before we can enjoy His extravagant love! His love never changes! And His love is not small. It is incomprehensibly big. He loves the most Godly person you know just as much as He loves you and the prisoners in jail. What an awesome revelation this is! Think of it this way: if we had to have our ducks in a row before God bestowed love on us, that would totally discount and limit His great love. Is His love not big enough and awesome enough to reach us as we already are?
God loves you as you are, not as you should be.
Here is a humbling thought that I heard this week in class: we can only have as much affection and passion for God as we realize He has for us. What a powerful statement! It makes me yearn to experience His love so badly, because I want to better love Him. 1 John 4:19- "We love because He first loved us".
God so badly wants to reveal His love for us. He wants us to experience all the good things He has for us. He is a Father waiting to lavish (Ephesians 1:8) His children in love: not just a dose, not just enough to keep us going, but a complete overflowing of it. God's love is not a general gift that looks the same to every person. He knows how to love each of us as individuals. God loves us each the same amount, but He loves us differently. He has given us each different personalities that desire different things. If God decided to show His love for me one day through a Starbucks barista offering me a free latte, I would feel extremely grateful and joyful, but if He did the same for one of my brothers, I'm not so sure they would experience the same amount of joy. How awesome is it that God knows you and me well enough to bless us in specific ways?! It gets me pumped! Not for the specific blessings, but for the opportunity to experience His love!
I want to challenge each of you this week to ask God to reveal His love for you. He will do it. Be patient, chill out, don't stress, just wait for Him and He will give you a revelation of His love. I pray this for all of you and for myself!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
A Day In The Life Of Heidi
Because I know you are all so deeply interested in even the slightest intricacies of my daily life here in Denver.
...But really because I know most, if not all, of you are still wondering to yourself "what the heck is YWAM anyways... and did she say she is doing a DTS? Does she expect us to just know what that is? I'm tired of pretending I know what Heidi is doing right now". :) Don't deny it. The reason most of you are still feeling clueless is because I was still clueless about the details of the program before I got here. And on some days, I still feel clueless. I know more than I did before, though, so allow me to share a typical weekday schedule:
7:00 - wake up
7:30- breakfast
8:00- quiet time (time with Jesus)
9:00- worship and prayer (on MWF)
11:00- session
1:00- lunch
2:00- session
3:45- work duties (I do housekeeping)
5:30-dinner
What are those sessions about, you ask? Each week, we cover a different topic relating to theology, faith, missions, or just God in general. Some of the topics include: the Character of God; the Father Heart of God; God's Intentions for Individuals, Peoples, and Nations; Inductive Bible Study; Building and Maintaining Godly relationships, and 6 or 7 others to make a total of 11. One week toward the end of my time here in Colorado will be devoted entirely to outreach preparation. For those of you who don't know, there are three outreach locations that we can choose from for the second half of this program. The locations include: Costa Rica, London/Romania, and Israel/Jordan. There is one that I am leaning toward, but I am continuing to prayerfully consider all three.
I'm keepin' it short and sweet today, thanks for reading! I love y'all and miss everyone tons :)
...But really because I know most, if not all, of you are still wondering to yourself "what the heck is YWAM anyways... and did she say she is doing a DTS? Does she expect us to just know what that is? I'm tired of pretending I know what Heidi is doing right now". :) Don't deny it. The reason most of you are still feeling clueless is because I was still clueless about the details of the program before I got here. And on some days, I still feel clueless. I know more than I did before, though, so allow me to share a typical weekday schedule:
7:00 - wake up
7:30- breakfast
8:00- quiet time (time with Jesus)
9:00- worship and prayer (on MWF)
11:00- session
1:00- lunch
2:00- session
3:45- work duties (I do housekeeping)
5:30-dinner
What are those sessions about, you ask? Each week, we cover a different topic relating to theology, faith, missions, or just God in general. Some of the topics include: the Character of God; the Father Heart of God; God's Intentions for Individuals, Peoples, and Nations; Inductive Bible Study; Building and Maintaining Godly relationships, and 6 or 7 others to make a total of 11. One week toward the end of my time here in Colorado will be devoted entirely to outreach preparation. For those of you who don't know, there are three outreach locations that we can choose from for the second half of this program. The locations include: Costa Rica, London/Romania, and Israel/Jordan. There is one that I am leaning toward, but I am continuing to prayerfully consider all three.
I'm keepin' it short and sweet today, thanks for reading! I love y'all and miss everyone tons :)
Saturday, January 14, 2012
HE is home.
Hey everyone! Welcome to blog-post number 2. I promise I won't start every post with what number that particular one happens to be, it just feels right for this one. :) I am sitting in a coffee shop on 16th Street Mall in downtown Denver right now, and for those of you who know me even a little bit, you know that means I am in my happy place. My first time downtown was last night when we came ice skating at an outdoor rink on this same street, but a group of us decided to be adventurous and hop the bus and come back down today to hang out.
Just like any new and foreign experience, this week has been quite overwhelming, in a word. It has been full of encounters of all kinds: with people, with snow, and with God. Yes, it snowed here Wednesday! It snowed all day long and I was like a kid in a candy store! It was gorgeous! (See pic below). It is not gross, dirty, frozen snow- but soft, light, and airy. It feels like walking on a cloud. The only unfortunate part about this is that my snowballs did not form well. :(
This particular week was full of introductions, orientations, and of course, bonding. I have met so many new people my head is spinning. It seems like every day I have about 10 different mood changes. An example of a few I have felt: scared, excited, nervous, intimidated, inspired, confused, peaceful. I feel sorry for my roommates :) Then again, they are feeling the exact same, which is comforting. It is a strange thing when nothing around me is constant- from my mood to my location. And God understands. I recently read the stories of the beginning of Joseph's life (Genesis 37-41). Joseph was moved all over the place in a short amount of time: from his father's household, to Potiphar's household, to prison, and then to Pharaoh's palace. He was dearly loved by his father, mocked by his brothers, tempted by Potiphar's wife, in charge in prison, and esteemed in Pharaoh's palace. He too experienced new things on a regular basis. And God was with Him the whole way. Genesis 39:2 says, "The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered." This may be a simplistic revelation, and one that we have all heard before, but God emphasized to me this week that He is home. He is constant. He never changes. When I am in Texas, He is the same as when I am in Florida and when I am in Denver. There is so much comfort in this for me!
I know that the next 5 months and 2 weeks is not going to be easy. I have a feeling I am going to be pushed to my limits. I am very nervous, but very ready. God is already revealing to me that I am still an infant in my faith. That is humbling. :) There is so much room for growth in ways that I don't even know about. I'll make sure to keep y'all posted about how that's going. :)
On a lighter note: the dry Denver air has cleared my skin up, I have learned an awesome new pool game similar to round-robin (Menkes? Roths?), there is coffee/hot chocolate/tea/apple cider available here 24/7, I found a restaurant called Heidi's, I am currently watching crazy bronco fans run up and down the street, and I only fell once while ice skating yesterday! And the adventure has only begun!
Peace.
Snow covering the YWAM campus
Just like any new and foreign experience, this week has been quite overwhelming, in a word. It has been full of encounters of all kinds: with people, with snow, and with God. Yes, it snowed here Wednesday! It snowed all day long and I was like a kid in a candy store! It was gorgeous! (See pic below). It is not gross, dirty, frozen snow- but soft, light, and airy. It feels like walking on a cloud. The only unfortunate part about this is that my snowballs did not form well. :(
This particular week was full of introductions, orientations, and of course, bonding. I have met so many new people my head is spinning. It seems like every day I have about 10 different mood changes. An example of a few I have felt: scared, excited, nervous, intimidated, inspired, confused, peaceful. I feel sorry for my roommates :) Then again, they are feeling the exact same, which is comforting. It is a strange thing when nothing around me is constant- from my mood to my location. And God understands. I recently read the stories of the beginning of Joseph's life (Genesis 37-41). Joseph was moved all over the place in a short amount of time: from his father's household, to Potiphar's household, to prison, and then to Pharaoh's palace. He was dearly loved by his father, mocked by his brothers, tempted by Potiphar's wife, in charge in prison, and esteemed in Pharaoh's palace. He too experienced new things on a regular basis. And God was with Him the whole way. Genesis 39:2 says, "The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered." This may be a simplistic revelation, and one that we have all heard before, but God emphasized to me this week that He is home. He is constant. He never changes. When I am in Texas, He is the same as when I am in Florida and when I am in Denver. There is so much comfort in this for me!
I know that the next 5 months and 2 weeks is not going to be easy. I have a feeling I am going to be pushed to my limits. I am very nervous, but very ready. God is already revealing to me that I am still an infant in my faith. That is humbling. :) There is so much room for growth in ways that I don't even know about. I'll make sure to keep y'all posted about how that's going. :)
On a lighter note: the dry Denver air has cleared my skin up, I have learned an awesome new pool game similar to round-robin (Menkes? Roths?), there is coffee/hot chocolate/tea/apple cider available here 24/7, I found a restaurant called Heidi's, I am currently watching crazy bronco fans run up and down the street, and I only fell once while ice skating yesterday! And the adventure has only begun!
Peace.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Into the Hands of the Potter
Hi Everyone! Welcome to my first ever blog. Which would make this my first ever blog-post! I never really did understand the appeal of keeping a blog. Knowing me, if I had ever started a blog previously I would have written 3 or 4 awesome posts and then would forget all about it or get lazy and never write one again. BUT this will be different. It really will! My motivation: keeping beloved friends and family updated with all the crazy new experiences I will be having the next 5 months.
For those of you who don't already know: I am taking this semester off of school to participate in a missions training program. I will be in Denver, Colorado for 3 months learning more about myself and the specific gifts God has given me to be effective in mission work, and then I will be overseas for 2 months (Location TBD) applying what I have learned on the mission field! The organization is Youth with a Mission (YWAM) and the specific program I am in is called a Discipleship Training School (DTS). (WOW THAT WAS A LOT OF CAPITAL LETTERS IN PARENTHESES IN ONE PARAGRAPH).
An important part of my blog will be writing specifics about what God is teaching me and ways I have seen Him actively working in my life, because I know He will be- not because I am in a 5-month mission-intensive program, but because He always does. He's just cool and faithful like that. :) Going into this new experience, God has been preparing me in many different ways. The word that has been in my head non-stop the past few weeks is "open". I want to go to Colorado with an open mind, heart, ears, and eyes. I am not going in with any expectations about what God should or shouldn't do. This is definitely easier said than done and requires surrender, obedience, and trust in God. But in the end, I much prefer to trust God and put the next 5 months completely into His hands than try to be responsible for it. I know that anything I could come up with would not be even remotely close to the awesome, life-changing things He has in store! Isaiah 64:8 says "But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand". I have no greater desire than to be molded by God's hands. Before I can be molded, though, I must become clay! I need to be mold-able. And this is where the idea of being "open" plays in. I want to surrender myself to become clay. It is a lot easier to form than stone. Sure, God is able to form stone, but the process is a lot simpler if we start out as clay. So you can call me clay, because that is what I am and strive to be every day.
p.s. I hope everyone likes/gets the title of my page! Credit goes to my awesome uncle, Uncle Ken. Considered putting the song in the background, but figured that would be kind of annoying to listen to while trying to read!
For those of you who don't already know: I am taking this semester off of school to participate in a missions training program. I will be in Denver, Colorado for 3 months learning more about myself and the specific gifts God has given me to be effective in mission work, and then I will be overseas for 2 months (Location TBD) applying what I have learned on the mission field! The organization is Youth with a Mission (YWAM) and the specific program I am in is called a Discipleship Training School (DTS). (WOW THAT WAS A LOT OF CAPITAL LETTERS IN PARENTHESES IN ONE PARAGRAPH).
An important part of my blog will be writing specifics about what God is teaching me and ways I have seen Him actively working in my life, because I know He will be- not because I am in a 5-month mission-intensive program, but because He always does. He's just cool and faithful like that. :) Going into this new experience, God has been preparing me in many different ways. The word that has been in my head non-stop the past few weeks is "open". I want to go to Colorado with an open mind, heart, ears, and eyes. I am not going in with any expectations about what God should or shouldn't do. This is definitely easier said than done and requires surrender, obedience, and trust in God. But in the end, I much prefer to trust God and put the next 5 months completely into His hands than try to be responsible for it. I know that anything I could come up with would not be even remotely close to the awesome, life-changing things He has in store! Isaiah 64:8 says "But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand". I have no greater desire than to be molded by God's hands. Before I can be molded, though, I must become clay! I need to be mold-able. And this is where the idea of being "open" plays in. I want to surrender myself to become clay. It is a lot easier to form than stone. Sure, God is able to form stone, but the process is a lot simpler if we start out as clay. So you can call me clay, because that is what I am and strive to be every day.
p.s. I hope everyone likes/gets the title of my page! Credit goes to my awesome uncle, Uncle Ken. Considered putting the song in the background, but figured that would be kind of annoying to listen to while trying to read!
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